


Steter and the Corny Pick-up Lines

by iCheat



Series: Steter Week 2015 [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Day One, Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, Pick-Up Lines, Steter Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:43:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4244787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iCheat/pseuds/iCheat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles finds out that Peter has a thing for corny pick-up lines and blatantly abuses this new information.<br/>For Day 1 of Steter Week, Humor/Crack Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steter and the Corny Pick-up Lines

“Derek told me something funny the other day.”  
“Yeah, how did you make him do that?”  
“I threatened to stop translating teen speak, or lack of speak, for him. That’s not the point.”  
“What did he tell you then?”  
“You, big bad Peter Hale, have a thing for corny pick-up lines.”  
“…Well, there go all my second thoughts about killing my nephew.”  
“Oh my God, this is great!”

*

“Hey Peter.”  
“Yes?”  
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”  
“…No, they’re prison pants. And it’s time for me to make my escape.”  
“No, wait, come back! I’ve got more!”  
“Kill me.”

*

“Peter, I can give myself to you.”  
“Sorry, I don't usually accept cheap gifts.”  
“Ouch.”

*

“Do you have any raisins?”  
“Why on Earth would I have raisins?”  
“How about dates?”  
“Must you persist in this?”  
“Yes!”

*

“Apart from being sexy what do you do for a living?”  
“Christopher.”  
“WHAT?!”

*

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”  
“No, but you must be a jury notice, because I’m trying to avoid you.”  
“You break my heart.”  
“Sadly, I think you’ll live.”

*

“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!”  
“Are you from Istanbul? Because you sound like a real turkey.”  
“These lines are fabulous and you love them.”  
“Remember when you were scared of me? We should go back to that.”

*

“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”  
“Actually, it’s you. Because you just crashed and burned.”  
“HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!”

*

“Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”  
“Sorry, no map. So why don’t you just get lost?”  
“You’re definitely cheating.”  
“I’m not exactly one of the good guys.”  
“That is beside the point!”

*

“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”  
“If I said I wanted to check out your ass, would you turn around and walk away?”  
“So I’m making progress!”  
“…That’s one interpretation.”

*

“Your eyes are as blue as the ocean.”  
“Stiles, please-”  
“And baby I’m lost at sea.”  
“Watch out for krakens.”  
“…Oh my God, are they a thing?!”

*

“If you were a tear I wouldn’t cry for fear of losing you.”  
“That, was surprisingly sweet.”  
“You know what else is-”  
“Quit while you’re ahead Stiles.”

*

“I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.”  
“How long is this going to last?”  
“I have internet access and ADHD, I can do this forever.”  
“Someone must be willing to kill me again.”  
“Don’t be that way sweet heart! I’ll find better ones!”

*

“You shouldn’t frown, you never know who could be falling in love with your… evil villain smirk. Don’t raise your eyebrow at me, I have seen you smiling at these lines!”  
“If I agree to take you out will you stop the pick up lines?”  
“So, that’s a yes?”  
“Against my better judgement.”  
“WIN!”

*

“Hey, Peter?”  
“Yes Stiles?”  
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”  
“You’re never going to stop are you?”  
“Never, but you love me.”  
“Against my better judgement.”  
“Love you too, cute-cumber.”


End file.
